I created this poem together with a rose during a guest facilitator workshop that happened in my own membership, the Soul & Soma Space. I invited my friend, artist and Holistic Health Practitioner, Melissa McConnell for a painting ritual and was delighted when she suggested to let roses and honey inspire our creative processes.

My muses speak more via writing than painting through me and most of the times I receive words, phrases, sentences, and whole text downloads when I go into a creative and/or channel mode.

I always encourage the beautiful women in my membership to follow their own intuition and body wisdom and so I followed my own guidance and allowed myself to write while everyone else painted.

Melissa created a warm, gentle, sensual, and deeply devotional creative container so that my body felt safe enough to open up and receive the flower wisdom of the red rose that I picked freshly from my little garden before the ritual started.

Rose has so much to share and give–as you do, too.

So I knew already while I was receiving these words that I want to share them with you and they are meant to be received by other people.

I personally feel deeply supported and nurtured by rose’s wisdom–especially in my current “winter season”, a phase that is deeply challenging for me on so many levels.

Rose speaks…

Don’t give up. Blooming happens. Always. Again and again. It unfolds. Without rush. Without pressure. Without forcing it but with force. Natural force that comes from deep down. From my roots. From my soil. From my soul. From the Mother. Earth.

The blooming happens naturally. Effortlessly. Again and again. But it is just a phase. One of many. One of many. One phase of many seasons, stages, lifetimes, cycles.

You can see my blooming and watch me rise. I offer you my petals, my fragrance, my light. As a delight. For you. For everyone who sees me. Perceives me. Receives me. And for everyone who is not seeing me. Not perceiving me. Not receiving me.

I bloom anyway. In my very own way. Again and again. I do not need you to see me. To perceive me. To receive me. I bloom anyway. But I am happy if you do. See me. Perceive me. Receive me.

Because this is one of the stages and phases that can be seen. Yet so many are not. When you think of a rose like me you always imagine her blooming. But that is actually just a small portion of my magic, our magic. So much happens that you cannot see. That seems like nothing. That maybe even seems like death.

Sometimes I pause between my blooming times. To have a little nap and let myself be nourished by nature, water, minerals from the soil, bees, wind, sunlight. I let myself be nurtured after I have offered so much. My whole essence and beauty.

And then after a little while when I feel ready I come back for the next blooming phase. I come back with buds fully packed with potential and life.

Once a year my magic is happening in even more darkness. Death season. After life. Before rebirth. You know that winter is here when my petals and leaves fall down, kissing and blessing the Earth. Slowness. Cold. I pull my juices back into my stem, my roots. Let my spirit and soul be warmed by Earth.

I disappear. My beauty turns inward. Nobody sees me. Or even notices me. When I stand there, brown, gnarled, bony, full of sharp thorns and naked. You sometimes thought in these winter times that I had gone completely. That I will never come back. That there is no more life inside of me. But there was. Always.

The winter is part of my life. A life that contains so much more than blooming. Isn’t it interesting that the most important phases happen under the soil and in the dark? Isn’t it beautiful that my blooming gets prepared during these harsh months of seemingly stillness?

Don’t give up when you cannot see, perceive, receive my beauty. Don’t give up hope if your life feels like a never-ending winter. Your roots are just getting nurtured. Your stem gets stronger. You are in preparation mode.

Trust me.

Under the surface and in the darkness, nature prepares you, strengthens you.

To be re-birthed, to rise, to bloom. Again. Again. Again.

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What do you notice in your body and sense in your heart after reading these words? What wisdom does Rose hold for you?

I would love to hear from you in the comments!

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It’s fascinating how my accident slowed everything down and how my body—my leg, which was broken in several places—is now gradually returning everything to “normal, human speed.”

Before the accident, I felt like life was catapulting me into huge decisions. Due to external events, I was suddenly confronted with major life questions that shook me to the core, overwhelmed me, and left me oscillating between freezing–despair, and fighting–frantic problem-solving.

My situation involved big steps like becoming a horse owner, moving to a different apartment, and/or/maybe leaving the country. It was about questions, decisions, and desires that had been on my mind for a while, but for which I thought I had more time (which I now do…).

Before the accident, I felt like everything was moving too fast. I felt I had to decide right then, even though I didn’t feel ready. I felt I had to start my next chapter, my next phase of life, right then, even though I didn’t feel any clarity yet.

But then everything really did happen in a flash, and it catapulted me off the horse and out of my life… or back into it?

Broken bones, the hospital, and now lying at home, resting, healing, giving my body the time it needs. Isn’t it strange, funny, and tragic that my body is now stopping me from making hasty decisions after I fell myself? Isn’t it strange, funny, and tragic that my broken leg is holding me back before I take the next step?

Before the accident, I had the feeling that I actually needed more time—maybe two years—before I’d feel ready to start my next chapter (perhaps in another country). Now it’s very realistic that I need exactly those two years and have no other option but to stabilize myself here in Austria—on many levels: physically, health-wise, financially, emotionally…

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Returning to natural pace is not a “quick win”

I have to smile inside. At the wisdom of this universe, of my body, of life. I have to cry and scream and rage inside. At the injustice, the pain, the frustration.

Believe me, it’s very hard for me to allow myself to slow down, and I’m infinitely grateful that, thanks to my Somatic Experiencing® training and my personal somatic healing journey over the past few years, I have now the tools and support to regulate my (nervous) system.

And by regulated I don’t mean being relaxed 24/7, but rather being present and feeling safe (enough) with everything that comes up and being able to hold all emotions and sensations, including anger, pain, rage, sadness, fear…

Above all, my inner creatrix, visionary, warrior spirit, and doer is having a hard time right now, because she feels held back and frustrated. I need to lye down a lot and sitting and writing for longer times is just not possible.

I see her—and myself—give her space, and find ways to write and create (with breaks in bed, of course). And I also know that DOING is my preferred defense mechanism and I am currently learning to find even more security within myself, in slowness and stillness.

Would I have wished for this slowing down to happen with less pain, trauma, drama, and “breaks”? Yes, please. That would certainly have been “possible.” But it happened differently, and it’s pointless to consider alternative “options,” even though there’s a part of me that still refuses to accept that I fell, broke, and had to—and still have to—experience so much pain and break-down.

But I feel and know, on a soul level—deep within and high above me—that in this life I am allowed and want to experience, explore, and feel matter, Earth, the body, and the sensory experience of being human with great intensity and in all its facets—pain, pleasure, and everything in between. (And hey, I’m so ready for the “pleasure” chapter—you can believe me!)

It’s not slow living–it’s “natural, normal, and future living”

You don’t have to have an accident to say NO to being overwhelmed, on high-speed, and under pressure, and YES to your natural pace, calm, and flow. I sense (and see astrologically) how much the pace is accelerating energetically. How fast everything is going, running, rushing.

But what if it’s not about running along, rushing things, and perhaps falling in the process? What if this very time demands even more from us—from you, from me—to listen to our own inner voice, our own body’s wisdom, and a natural pace?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not against any kind of speed. And this would even be silly to say because the quickening is happening anyway. And a certain quickening is important, inevitable, and great. A quickening in energetic, karmic, soul-level healing.

Since a couple of years, many of us are waking up and are doing the work… and it’s working. Consciousness is shifting because we are shifting.

Old, karmic, distorted patterns show up more quickly and can be released, integrated, changed, transformed, alchemized, healed more quickly than ever before. That is great.

And also, matter, Earth, the body, bones, muscles, and nerves need time to heal, to rest, to be nourished. Your heart and body need more time than your brain thinks.

What if the energetic healing can happen even quicker if we allow our body more rest, more space, more calm…?

Wer are here on Earth and in a body. Let’s face this fact and our soul’s decision

I see the great danger that we, as individuals and as a society, are suppressing the fact that we are not only our mind and intellect, but also our body, including our emotions and heart. I see a great danger that we are trying to escape into “higher realms,” whether through virtual worlds, AI, or disembodied spirituality and 5D visions.

But what if the New—a New Paradigm, a New Earth—doesn’t lie outside our bodies and planet Earth, but right here, WITHIN and AS part of our human, earthly reality?

I deeply believe and feel: my soul and your soul made the decision before your birth to incarnate on this Earth in a physical body (rather than hanging out in another dimension). I feel that we should not repress or deny this decision to have an earthly, physical, sensual experience as souls, but rather seize the opportunity.

The opportunity to find our way (back) to the body (and yes, that is difficult, painful, and beautiful all at once). The opportunity to return to our nature (and yes, that is difficult, painful, and beautiful all at once).

The chance to feel, to see, to cry, to laugh, to dance, to dream, to work, to rest, and to trust the natural rhythm that we can intuitively sense when we let ourselves be less rushed, but instead have the courage, the privilege, and (enough) inner safety to be still and to press pause again and again. And you are allowed to do that even without your body forcing in a painful way.

What do you notice in your body and sense in your heart after reading these words?

I would love to hear from you in the comments!

This poem wanted to be written while I was connecting with sage from my little garden and their plant spirit during a creative ritual that was held by my soul & soma friend, healing artist Melissa McConnell.

The ritual happened three weeks after my accident and emergency surgery. Feeling sage’s spirit and “hearing” their messages was and is so healing for me and my severely fractured leg. It connects me with a bone-deep wisdom that the body and Earth keeps and that is also part of my (and your) nature.

I first did not plan to publish the poem but I have the feeling that sage is such a truth-teller who loves to be shared and I deeply feel that their messages are supportive for everyone who seeks to live more natural, seasonal, earthy, gentle, and create their full-body-yes-life on planet Earth.

Sage speaks…

My bones are strong yet flexible. My back looks filigrane but I have my own back and your back–strengthened by nature, filled with the juices of life. Bones, veins, full of greenness, aliveness, the wisdom of the Earth in her liquid and material form.

My back is full of wonder, vessels, and lines, bones and veins, that connect like a multilayered mosaic. The net of life. Pathways, crossroads, ways in, out, and through. All following their own nature. All connect, cross, intertwine with each other. All are having a direction, are guideways towards wisdom.

Messiness that looks like clarity. Clarity that looks like messiness. All connected with my spine. My strong yet flexible, life-giving spine that connects me to the Mother, to my plant, to my roots, to Earth.

When you turn me around you see my soft and bright face. Velvet green. Shimmering like silver and magic. Spreading beauty and fragrance. Sharing my face softly, bravely, open with the world. With you.

I show you how to have a strong back with softness. I show you the gentleness of my flesh and the strength of my bones. Flexible, mutable, always growing. I show you how to be spicy and sweet, grounded and magical, soft and strong.

When you crack me open, break my bones and spine, press out my veins I show you my wisdom. Juices of clarity dropping from my body into your mouth. Dropping from Mother Nature into your body. Taste me and feel, enjoy, sense what it means to be part of this Earth, to be grounded in the soil, to be soothed by the rain, to be raised by the sun, to be part of it all. Cycles of growth, death and rebirth.

Bitter sweet, how life is. The bitter sweetness of my body is medicine, wisdom. Isn’t it disruptive to finally taste the truth? Isn’t it disillusioning to finally have clarity? Isn’t it bitter to know better? And yet it is sweet, true, silvery, magical, soft, tender… to know. Deep inside. In your bones. In your spine. In your veins. In your blood. In your vessels. What LIFE truly is. What truly is alive. What it means to LIVE. With softness and strength. Sweetness and bitterness.

I love that you, Verena drink me as a tea. Every morning. Since you came back to your mother’s land. Since you have a little garden. Every morning. From spring to fall. You pick three leaves. Dip me into water. Boil out my essence. Take me in. In conscious sips.

I will help you heal. Heal your bones. Strengthen your spine. Vitalize your blood. Clear your mind. Soften your heart.

Can you remember when your mom used my leaves to spice up her dishes? Can you remember when she had a plant of me on her balcony? When you helped her in the kitchen, picked my leaves, and brought her my medicine? Can you remember that your mom put me in her tomato sauce, your favorite dish as a child? Can you remember how much in awe you have been looking at my green lushness and my silvery shine?

You did not know on what a journey Life, your soul, your body will take you. You did not know about the sweetness and bitterness you will experience. You did not know how much pain and pleasure you will feel.

But I was already on your side. In your body. Part of you.

Bones. Veins. Blood. Spine. Vitality. Health. Clarity. Truth. Wisdom.

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What do you notice in your body and sense in your heart after reading these words? What wisdom does sage hold for you?

I would love to hear from you in the comments!

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I’m lying on my bed. It’s 8 a.m. I let my gaze wander from my broken leg to the window. Outside, there’s a blue sky, sunshine—spring.

My leg and my back hurt. My body wants to turn and move at night, but the splint and cast on my leg won’t let it. I feel pain and frustration.

What can I look forward to today? What highlights do I have this week?

What makes it worth getting out of bed?

I’ve written about joy before—how important it is for me, and after experiencing burnout and depressive episodes, to prioritize joy in my everyday life!

In my experience, taking joy and your own well-being seriously and prioritizing them is an essential step and part of creating your own personal full-body-yes-life!

But what if almost everything that used to be my weekly and daily highlights is now off the table because of my accident and my injuries?

What if almost everything I used to look forward to—the things that made me jump out of bed—are no longer possible for me for several weeks or months?

I’ve recently realized that many of the joys and “activities” that nourish me, ground me, and make me feel alive have to do with movement, the body, nature, and being outdoors…

• Spending time with my horse friend, Veyron

• Horseback riding and trail rides in the woods (it will probably take a while before I get over my trauma, regulate my nervous system, and can pursue my great passion again)

• Cycling with my racing bike

• Yoga

• Spinning and strength training

• Going for walks

• Getting my little garden ready for spring

• Spending time with friends at a café or out in nature

None of this is possible with two complex leg fractures that first need to be stabilized for several weeks before I can take my first baby steps again.

But right now, in a phase of literal fragility, disintegration, vulnerability, sadness, and powerlessness, I long so much for a little lightness.

You don’t need an accident or a broken leg to feel down.

You don’t need visible injuries to find yourself in a situation where you suddenly no longer have access to the things that lift you up, ground you, give your life not only meaning but also joy, and bring you a sweet smile, butterflies in your stomach, or a gentle “mmmm” feeling.

I sense and see that many people—and perhaps you too—are going through tough times right now, when joy suddenly feels hard to find and difficult to integrate into everyday life.

That’s why I wanted to gather some ideas and inspiration for myself and for you—to help you find a sense of vitality, those little islands and pockets of joy, in your life and daily routine during tough times.

Reorientation: What’s possible for you?

What happens when you consciously shift your focus to what works for you and what’s possible, instead of concentrating on what doesn’t (or no longer) work?

Our nervous system automatically gravitates toward what’s uncertain, unfamiliar, difficult, and negative. Why? To protect us from potential uncertainties and dangers.

When you consciously reorient yourself and look at what is possible for you, it doesn’t mean you’re suppressing your pain or engaging in spiritual bypassing! It means you’re taking a broader perspective and seeing a more complete picture of your possibilities.

My left leg is broken; it hurts, and I’m not allowed to move it. But the rest of my body is “intact”!

I can’t do spinning or full-body strength training, but I can move and strengthen my right leg, my arms, my back, and my abs.

For the past few days, I’ve been doing a little “workout” every morning where I sit in my wheelchair or lie on the bed and use my weights and resistance bands to move and strengthen everything I can, while my left leg rests.

And I can still do rituals with a cup of ceremonial cacao on my couch, listen to an audio-book or eat a nourishing meal…

Flexibility: How can you adapt things?

My mini-workout leads me to my next source of inspiration: change and flexibility. How can you adapt your usual happy activities to your current needs? Can you adjust the time of day, location, or process so that it works in your current situation?

I can’t garden, but I can lie on my lounge chair in the garden and watch my roses bloom. I can’t spend hours working on my heart business, but I can hold a beautiful astro-somatic ritual for the full moon for my Soul & Space Membership right from my bed. I can’t go to a café, but I can invite my friends over to my place or have a call.

Curiosity: What new or forgotten things can you discover?

When the old is let go, the new can be invited in! I have to admit that I still struggle with this point. But yes, I decided today to start reading more again and ordered a new book.

Maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try and can do now because an old “Island of Joy” in your life has been swept away?

Support: What kind of help do you need?

Maybe you can’t drive to your yoga class anymore because you had to sell your car. But perhaps a yoga classmate could give you a ride? I believe that, especially when it comes to our personal joy and well-being, we often feel hesitant to ask for help.

Yet it is precisely these beautiful things that often enable us to get through tough times, let us breathe a sigh of relief, regulate our nervous system, listen to our hearts, and clear our minds again!

I can’t go for a walk, but I get a little fresh air and a sense of nature when my mom takes me on a short walk with my wheelchair and crutches. I can’t drive to Veyron. But as soon as I’m a little less shaky on my feet and in my head, I’ll ask my mom or a friend to drive me to the stable. There, I’ll ask Kata to bring Veyron out so we can at least have a few minutes of cuddle time together and see each other.

Letting Go of Expectations: What small joys have you overlooked so far?

The gentle breeze caressing your skin. The sweet taste of strawberries from the farmers market. The super-soft blanket wrapped around your feet.

Especially when we feel like life is taking away everything that brings us joy, it can be important and valuable to pay more attention to our senses and our surroundings. Because little moments of beauty are waiting for us everywhere.

I can’t cycle with my bike or ride a horse for hours on end. But I can consciously feel the sun on my skin. Notice for a brief moment how the muscles in my neck relax.

Life is not just about having fun…

This all is not easy. Life isn’t easy. A full-body-yes-life is NOT a highlight-reel on Instagram. Our soul wants to experience, feel, and sense the full spectrum of LIFE within a BODY. Through our senses, we can feel both pain and pleasure.

My words are not meant to give the impression that life is all about having fun. But I feel, know, and experience how healing, important, and beneficial it is—especially in hard times—to take one’s own well-being and joy of life seriously…

… and to find new, small, big, and forgotten things that are an “Island or a Pocket of Joy” in our everyday lives!

What is one thing that brings you joy that you can do today and in your current situation?

I hear the birds chirping. A gentle spring breeze blows through the branches of the trees. On this first day of May, the forest is blooming and turning green. The light of the morning sun falls in shimmering patches before me onto the forest floor, which is still covered with autumn leaves.

I see my fingers clawing into the damp, leafy dirt in front of my face. Dirt under my nails. Cold dirt. I feel unbearable pain in my body. I scream. Scream. Like an animal. I scream to compensate for the pain in my body, in my legs. I scream for my life.

The birds are singing. The bees are buzzing. The forest, the nature around me, is coming back to life after long winter months. My body is fighting for my life. I don’t want to go through this. I don’t want to go through this again.

I jump forward in time.

I’m in the hospital. I’m in the Accident and Emergency Department. My body is still weak. But I’m alive.

From my hospital bed on the 5th floor, I see the mountains still lightly dusted with snow. The spring-like, blue sky. A light breeze blows through the tilted window. The birds chirp carefree.

I have a titanium pin/bar in my left, shattered thigh and plates and pins in my left, broken ankle. The pain is there, but it’s dulled by medication.

I underwent emergency surgery for five hours just under a week ago, after being rescued in the forest. I was anesthetized right at the scene of the accident, lying on the damp forest floor, nearly fainting from pain and cold. The pain would have been too intense. Unbearable for my body? My nervous system? My soul?

I fell off my horse. My soul horse, my horse friend, my heart horse—Veyron. For the second time. So dramatic. Traumatic. Sad. I trust him. He trusts me. We’ve worked so long for this. For this trust. But his instinct was stronger. His panic too big. His frantic pace too fast. The centrifugal force too strong. My human body too fragile.

This accident with Veyron. It’s the second one.

I don’t want to go through this again. The pain. The shock. The months of vulnerability, helplessness, physical weakness. I had just gotten through the long winter following our last accident in the fall. Was getting stronger. Rebuilding. Had regained my strength.

This would be my spring! This was meant to be my spring. New life! New strength! Even greater unity and connection with Veyron, my body, life!

I don’t want to experience another winter this spring. I want life. Not to lie still. I want to be free. Not trapped in my body.

The birdsong and my scream of pain. The dirt of the forest floor still clings beneath my nails. It won’t come off. The dead leaves of the forest on me, within me. The dead leaves from which new earth, new life emerges, grows, awakens.

Bones heal. Pain fades. New skin, new tissue, new cells that weave together like a fresh layer of moss on an old tree trunk, changing, growing together. Yet even this new life can break, die, be destroyed again and again.

All of this is life.

Finitude. Infinity. The pain and the beauty. All there. Simultaneously. Dramatically interwoven. Naturally interwoven. Interconnected, linked, fused, inseparably bound.

Life and death. Consciousness and powerlessness. Spring and winter. Scream and song. The gentle hum of bees and my racing heart. The beats of Veyron’s hooves. The pumping of my blood. Our sheer fear. In the spring sunshine. May Day. Beginnings, endings, in-betweens.

We are not here on Earth simply to experience beauty. As much as that saddens me. As much as I want, wish for, and long for this life that is always carefree, innocent, and beautiful.

We are here to experience the full scope of LIFE. The soul—infinite light, lightness, eternity—in a finite, fragile, strong, animalistic, human body on a planet that moves, rotates, swings out, and swings back between light and dark, shades of gray, thresholds of light, and shadows. In balance? Out of balance?

I know nothing. And yet so much. I know that I don’t want all of this and yet I do. That I could have always, even this time, stepped out. For the soul, there is always an exit, a way out. Yet I stayed again. I said yes again. To life, which is pain and beauty, suffering and love, chaos and magic. And anyone who refuses to see this full spectrum or denies it has not yet lived.

To be a soul in a human body on Planet Earth —and that was and is a choice—means constantly oscillating and seeing, perceiving, recognizing, acknowledging, feeling, enduring, bearing, enjoying, loving, suffering, singing, jumping, dancing, breaking, falling, crashing, and getting back up again, and eventually moving on. Wiser, fuller, more alive, more experienced, more loving, stronger, braver, softer, deeper, higher, further.

Being in the body is not easy.

I understand anyone who, like me, has tried time and again to escape the pain and leave the body through the mind, through the spirit. Yet this is not what our soul came here to experience. For within the body—this human, earthly experience—lies the meaning of this existence and a sensuality that encompasses everything, weaving pleasure and pain into a melody.

Birdsong. Cries of pain. Simultaneously. All one.

🌸 How can we enjoy life, even though and precisely because pain, loss, and decay are part of our experience?

🌿 Can we bring pleasure into our lives, embrace love within us, see beauty, consciously create peace, and bathe in joy—even though and precisely because we know that this is only one part of the human experience?

🦋 Can we view pain, loss, and death as part of our soul’s journey of learning and experience within a body on Planet Earth, and neither lose ourselves in the darkness nor avoid its presence?

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I’ll guide, support, and empower you on your journey. I’ll help you find beauty and security within yourself, even—and especially—when things are tough.

You are one of those who is here to LIVE. It’s not easy, but it’s brave and beautiful. And you do not need to be alone in ALL of this.

If you want to check out my offerings HERE and book my soul & soma spring special by May 18th HERE!

We have many problems just because we live in a world that is not made for human beings anymore.

Our nervous system is not made for the amount of stimuli that we are bombarded with 24/7.

Our body is not made for the intense work load, stress, pressure, productivity, and progress that we are meant to achieve and accomplish every day (and night).

Our modern work life was significantly shaped during the Industrial Revolution when humans had to adapt to non-human machines.

Our emotional body is not made for linearity and the never-ending highs that are shown to us by highlight-reels and advertisement.

Our energy body is not made for endless performance, coffee-to-go and systems that judge any sign of slowness and tiredness as weakness and laziness.

Our soul is not made for living in a small box of rules, regulations, roles, and deadlines.

Our mind is not made for consuming information and producing new ideas without any chance to reflect, digest, and sink into nothingness.

Our heart is neither made for disconnection and loneliness nor for (online) relationships that are not reaching our felt senses through a loving touch and a hug.

My problems started when I became a human again and stopped being a machine, a servant, a boss babe, a stream of consciousness, a higher self, a channel…

My “problems” in this society started when I came back to Earth and into my body.

When I started to feel my needs, my hunger, my tiredness, my joy, my exhaustion, my pleasure, my vitality, my sadness, my depression, my longing.

Because then I painfully felt what was off and absent in my life and in this world.

My “problems” in this society started when I came back to Earth and into my body.

But my real life and the ongoing creation of my full-body-yes-life started too.

And I am grateful for all of this.

How can we create a life that feels like a sacred yes for our body & soul?

How can we allow ourselves to be human again without feeling shame or the urgency to apologize for our needs and wants?

How can we create a world that is welcoming and supportive for human beings and living creatures and every being that its part of Earth.

Because this is where we are… on Earth, right?

If my words resonate with you…

I am for sure not healed, perfect, or have figured it all out but I would love to support, encourage, and inspire you on your way to be human (again) and to embody your true Self.

I’m always by your side when you need me–through my weekly newsletter, my podcast, and my offerings.

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I sit on the terrace of my little bungalow. My tanned legs rest in front of me on a comfy outdoor couch. I am on a three-weeks workation on Gili Air, a tiny island close to Lombok, Indonesia.

It’s the second time that I am here, on this slow, magical, transformative island that is not bigger than, well, a small village on an island.

No cars or dogs allowed. Just cats, cows, chicken, bicycles, carts pulled by small sturdy horses, sea turtles, geckos, colorful fishes, magical flowers…

I was here last year. My visit on the island during Pisces and eclipse season 2025 initiated internally and externally many topics, learnings, and challenges that unfolded in the months and the year after my stay.

After having gone through so many tough times in 2025—health crises, spiritual crises, financial crises, crises in my business—I felt the strong calling to come back to the island. To close the cycle. To feel how deep and high I have grown over the last 12 months. To receive some new lessons and medicine…

Now I am here. Yes, it is magically messy. Yes, there are challenges. Yes it is not all perfect. I learn to lean into acceptance towards the imperfections of my body, my health, myself, my life, this world…

But even though the weather is an extremely unpredictable mix of rain-sun-clouds-wind-storm-RAIN-SUN and I have some limitations due to my health condition, I am definitely reaching a new level and step in creating my full-body-yes-life.

So far, I have created on almost every day a healthy balance between things that nurture my soul and body and tasks that are related to my business, sacred service, and calling.

So far, I have caught on every day a sunny/not-rainy phase to swim in the ocean, say hello to the sea turtles, feel my body in the flowing waves of life.

During the week, I work for approximately four hours on my computer.

From time to time I visit sound healings, go to a yoga class or treat myself with a massage.

Every every day I nurture myself with incredibly delicious, fresh, vegan, gluten-free food that gives my body new strength.

Do I (and you) deserve living a full-body-yes-life…?

The food, the yoga, the massages, the ocean… These are all things that I cannot afford and/or do not exist in Austria.

And even though this all seems really beautiful, balanced and like a full-body-yes, I also feel some shame and doubt. There is one part of me, an old, inner child part who questions if I am worthy of this goodness. If I have deserved to be here.

It is also important to mention that this whole journey is a gift. I received the money for the flight and the accommodation from my family. I have not been in the financial situation for a couple of months to cover the costs of the trip (even if it is a WORK-ation).

I said yes please and thank you.

I allowed myself to receive the financial support that the universe channeled through my family to me.

I allowed myself to go an even deeper, further step towards the creation of my full-body-yes-life.

I decided consciously to deserve this. Not only because I experienced a really challenging year. But because I deserve goodness as every-soul and every-body deserves goodness, health, joy, and freedom in their life.

And also, here she is: My inner child, the socially programmed Me, the over-performing Verena.

She does not feel worthy.

She thinks she does not deserve so much goodness.

She feels shame and tightness in her chest.

She learned again and again that she must work hard, do her best (and even more) to get a tiny bit and sip and taste of goodness – and never ever the full jar of honey, ice cream, and sweetness of life.

This part of me says sentences like:

You are broken and did not make enough money over the last months. How can you now chill on the beach?

It’s a shame that you take the money from your relatives. You should have said No!

You are egoistic, conceited, lazy, superficial, naive, privileged…

Who do you think you are to just want to work for four hours per day and prioritize stupid things just because you love them?

You do NOT deserve this workation, so much goodness, this life.

How much goodness is too much (for our nervous system and inner child)…?

I am a bit curious if the fact that my stay here on the island is “not perfect” and I am dealing with bigger and smaller internal and external challenges everyday is the reflection and projection of this inner part who does not believe I am deserving of all the goodness.

Maybe the fact that there is always something that is a bit nerve-wrecking, really scary, painful, challenging, annoying, rainy, dis-regulating is not only “life life-ing” but also my subconscious expectation that I must suffer, that I do not deserve only goodness, that I must struggle for my joy.

She, the part of me who is programmed by meritocracy and a father who told her that she must work hard before getting a tiny bite of chocolate, is always alive. Here, on my workation on Gili Air and in my life in Austria.

This part of me doubts that I deserve my full-body-yes-life without struggling, fighting, self-abandoning, suffering, working hard...

I see her and honor her.

I know that she is here, part of my story, my bones, my heart, my blood.

I understand her.

But–and that is the most important point of my experiences and this story–she is no longer running the show and makes decisions.

The many parts of me who feel increasingly safe, stable, and worthy can hold my ashamed, insecure, and doubtful inner child better and better—thanks to daily somatic practices, astrological self-consciousness-work, shadow work, mindset work, other holistic healing techniques and just LIVING in a body on planet earth.

I know that many of us and maybe you have these inner parts who question if we deserve a good life, a healthy life, a balanced life, a joyful life, a full-body-yes-life…

Especially in a world where sooo many people are suffering and dying it feels very challenging to ask for more. To want to not just survive but thrive.

How can we un-shame our longing for goodness…?

Maybe for you it is the wound of shame, unworthiness, “laziness”, uselessness, being unproductive, wanting too much, being egoistic…

It is not about repressing these parts of you but seeing them, bringing them into your consciousness, listening to them, holding and soothing them.

And it is about growing and nurturing the parts of you who already feel sense of safety, self-worth, belonging, courage, or (just a tiny bit of) curiosity…

The curiosity for a life that lies behind hustling and performing, people pleasing and burnout…

The curiosity of what might happen when we deeply feel, embody, and understand that we are worthy and deserve the goodness of life fully and completely.

I am proud that I honored my privilege to be here by accepting this opportunity and by receiving the money with gratitude.

I am proud that I can hold the parts of myself that feel unworthy and still choose the sweet piece of gluten-free cake, the morning swim with turtles, the luxurious massage during a rainy afternoon.

I am proud that I am living and embodying what I am “preaching” and sharing… more and more, deeper and deeper….

It is not easy. It is not always fun. It is actually hard work to work less, to lean back, and to allow healing.

I accept that I am not yet (and maybe never) the person who is 100% “unblocked” or free from any shame, doubt and fear.

I accept that I do not have the perfect stay here and that this is all a very alive, crazy, beautiful, and intense SUN-RAIN-LIFE.

You might wanna ask yourself (and share in the comments below):

Do I feel some sort of trigger, shame, or unworthiness about creating my full-body-yes-life and/or wanting to have more goodness in my life?

Where does this feeling / sensation / emotion live in your body?

What does this part of you need for feeling safe (enough) to lean a little bit more into joy, ease, healing, balance, calm…?

Can you also feel the part of you who already knows you are worthy of goodness? Where does she live in your body? Are there certain images, colors, or messages show up when you connect with this part?

What does this part need to grow and become stronger?

How can we find stability when so many things (ourselves included) are constantly shifting, changing, evolving, ending, emerging, starting, breaking away, breaking through, breaking down, breaking…?

How can I find peace and calm when the world feels alarming even though I have muted my phone and no bell is ringing?

I could write a whole book about the importance of nervous system regulation in this day and age, my personal and professional journey with somatic experiencing® and how I use somatic healing techniques together with astrology in offers. You can read more about my astro-somatic approach on my website.

In this text, I want to share practices for grounding and regulation from my personal life. I want to give you something tangible, practical, magically-mundane and down to earth:

I want to write about my daily rituals.

I consciously do not label my “rituals” as a morning or evening routine because these phrases feel for me too connected to toxic self-optimization, spiritual perfectionism, and matrix-infused productivity.

But yes… I do certain things (almost) every morning and (almost) every evening to frame my day, to find stability and grounding, regulation and calm.

I have daily rituals to feed the parts of me who long for safety–in a life that feels like an unpredictable adventure trip or a heroines’ journey. Joyful excitement and nerve wracking anxiety included.

Staying grounded is daily work for me…

I have a lot of instability in my life. That is okay. I have chosen and created this life consciously.

I have chosen and still choose to be independent and free. And that can come (in our current systems) with less safety and support.

I have been self-employed since 2014 when I was in my 20s.

I love it! I love to have my own business and be my own boss. But everything has two sides, right?

Before I became self-employed, I let myself be exploited by tons of underpaid or unpaid internships, monthly contracts, slavery-like working conditions, and bosses who helped me heal some of my inner wounds (low self-worth, being an overachiever, hustling for “love”...).

One of my first steps of self-liberation and reclaiming my own power was becoming self-employed and a couple of years later, starting my (first) own business.

When I reflect back, I must admit that I never felt financially secure since I left my parents house with 20 and started my adult life.

Wait… that is not true!

I took a gap year between school and university to find out what I truly want and during that time I was working as a barista at Starbucks (I could write books about that very intense, interesting, deep, and caffeinated experience.)

This one year was the only year in my adult life, in which I exactly knew how much money will come in at the beginning of the next month.

Of course, I had phases with my own businesses that had been stable and I experienced in the last years phases of financial security but there was always some sort of a question mark and worry… but what happens when the payment of this course ends? How good or bad will my next launch be? Will I have enough sign-ups?#

I did not consciously realize until last week how stressful that has been and still is for my (nervous) system. Not having financial security since almost 20 years. I think I never realized that consciously because it feels so normal for me.

And also, it is not 100% true that I had / have no financial security. I am blessed with a family who is not super rich but well-situated enough to support me financially during my phases of burnout and crises.

Which brings me to the next insecurity.

My health.

Even though on the surface I seem like a strong, sportive, healthy person… my body tends to communicate very clearly with me through (from a western medicine perspective) mysterious illnesses, symptoms, pain.

I am still working on trusting my body and teaching my body that she can trust me… we are in a long, deep healing process.

Did I also mention that I have tons of ideas, that I am very creative, passionate, and fiery? Did I also mention that I am energetically open, highly sensitive, and feel it all on all levels all the time… if I am not doing my daily work of grounding. Regulating myself. Finding back to balance, safety, calm. Again and again. Every day.

And that brings me to my daily rituals!

(It took a long writing road to come to this point but that is how my brain works and I seemingly have not lost you on the way.)

How I find stability through simplicity–every day…

My morning and evening rituals have accompanied me for over a decade. They changed! Of course they changed because I changed. And they will change because I will change. But right now and for approximately 1-2 years they are pretty… stable!

They frame my day. Calm the parts of me that long for familiar, simple, boring, NOT adventurous things.

My daily rituals help me find back to the stillness in my chest, the ground under my feet, the emotions that lay under my thoughts.

My daily rituals are my anchor when I feel flooded by demands, energies, emotions, thoughts.

They connect me with myself and through that with the universe and the earth, my spirit guides and my body wisdom, my ancestors, the land, my future self...

My daily rituals take me into the here and now and give me some sense of normality and healing boredom in a life and world that feels like a rollercoaster (or like living life as a soul in a body on planet earth?!).

My daily rituals prepare me for my day and allow me to find completion when the day ends.

I love them. Honestly. I kind of freak out when I can not have them and also I have proven again and again that I can live without my rituals (for some days ;-)...)

Please take my personal rituals as an inspiration to find YOUR personal rituals! We all have different needs, preferences, life circumstances, privileges, capacity levels, health situations, brains, bodies, traumas, souls, hearts…

Take what you love, adapt what you like, leave what you don’t like and explore curiously what brings YOU joy, stability, and peace on a daily basis!

My morning ritual

I shuffle my tarot cards until one or two fall out as my cards for the day.

I meditate 11 min, starting with a short breathing exercise (kapalabhati) and ending with this little prayer that came out of my heart a couple of years ago:

“I would like to thank my guidance for their love, compassion and protection. I would like to thank my body for your wisdom and strength. I would like to thank the Earth for carrying me, nourishing me, supporting me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

This prayer connects me with my the higher and the deeper realms and I always feel lovingly embraced and sandwiched by the universe and the earth when I whisper it.

My short meditation helps me check in with my body wisdom and my current emotional state.

I also ask myself and my spirit guides sometimes what feels important on that day or what I shall focus on.

Often I combine my meditation with simple grounding techniques from somatic experiencing, especially when I feel anxiety or I have too many ideas running through my head.

After my meditation, I have my coffee while I journal one page in my beloved (unlined!) Magic of I. journal.

My daily page of journaling includes the current moon and astrology transits, some affirmations (that I create myself), my daily tarot cards, one line of wishes, one line of gratitude and some free writing about my experiences, feelings, learnings, challenges.

Okay, are you a journaling nerd?

Then you might feel inspired by my extended journaling ritual…

I not only journal a one-pager every day… At the end of each week, I look at all 7 one-pagers and sum my most important learnings and experiencing up on one page. At the end of the year, I go through all 52 weekly one-pagers and do my yearly reflection: I write the most important experiences and learnings of the year down on several pages and then put my core learnings on (guess what) one page. And this page hangs on my kitchen cabinet for the whole upcoming year.

After my regular one page of journaling I do 15-20min of JournalSpeak. I started this special free-writing technique last year, after my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis, and it helps me to get access to repressed emotions and parts of me that I am still not aware of. If you want to learn more about JournalSpeak check out Nicole Sachs and her book Mind Your Body.

After my morning ritual I usually exercise, preferably outdoors and in nature (that depends on my health condition and the weather here in Austria).

How do I end my days?

Very simple. Very grounded. Very intentional.

I light several candles in my sleeping room and burn some incense. Usually my favorite mixture from a local, organic Austrian company (Sonnentor) with camomile, bay leaves, elderflowers, angelica archangelica, and rosemary.

I do a 10-15 minutes gentle yoga or stretching practice (depending on my rheumatoid arthritis condition.) Sometimes I play music. Sometimes I enjoy the calm. And sometimes I add some dancing to the yoga.

This helps me to come back into my body after working on my computer, and to feel the ground under my naked feet.

On many days I pull an oracle card from one of my favorite decks by Asha Frost or Alana Fairchild and almost always I am in awe about the oneness of our world: the oracle cards, astrological transits, my spirit guides, body wisdom, experiences from the day–all melts together into one magical energy stream, theme, potential…

I finish my ritual with sitting or laying down for a short 5 min meditation while I enjoy the comfy smell of my incense.

That’s it.

Maybe for you that sounds super long, intense, and extravagant. Or it sounds super short, not magical enough or unattractive.

I love my rituals. The simplicity. That I do not need to decide anything. That all items that I need are already set up and in place. That I do not need to think. That I can just be. Me. In my body. In the moment. And open to re-connect with the support that is always available–through the Earth, spirit guides, loving energies, animals, ancestors…

I know for myself: Only when I am grounded and not trapped in a stress-spiral, I can take aligned decisions, channel my focus and energy intentionally, and create my full-body-yes-life. My daily rituals are not only an important part of my full-body-yes-life but also one source and a fertile ground for its creation.

I would love to hear from you:

How do you feel about (daily) rituals?

What anchors you in your everyday life?

Comment below and share your experiences!

Why your full-body-yes-life looks and feels different than mine…

If you ask me and read my blog (what you are currently doing) a full-body-yes-life is a life that feels like a sacred Yes for your body, soul, mind, and heart.

And that is very different for every-body depending on their individual circumstances – energy levels, phase of life, health, privileges, financial situation, age, environment, culture, society, etc.

What I call a full-body-yes-life might be very different than what you experience as a full-body-yes-life!

Maybe you have chronic pain and a day in your full-body-yes-life looks like resting, reading a book, cuddling with your pet, and enjoying a nourishing meal that your friend has cooked for you…

Maybe you have children and a day in your full-body-yes-life looks like watching your kids playing, taking a deep breath after a sleepless night, regulating yourself after your sweetheart had a tantrum, carving out 5 minutes at the end of the day to sit in silence…

Maybe you are in a phase of financial insecurity and a day in your full-body-yes-life looks like enjoying little pleasures that don’t cost a thing like giving yourself a foot massage after a long day, meeting a friend for a walk in the park or dancing to your favorite song…

Why it all starts with full-body-yes-moments…

I also want to emphasize that our full-body-yes-life contains of little moments that feel like a soft, sweet, sacred, loud, calm, peaceful or joyful Yes for you!

I deeply believe that we can find, create, discover, receive and/or enjoy little pockets, moments, and islands of full-body-yesses every day.

Maybe your full-body-yes feels like joy, expansion, peace, calm, connection, love…

Maybe your full-body-yes comes with certain sensations like spaciousness in your chest, more room to breathe, warmth in your heart, tingling in your hands, stability in your feet, calmness in your mind…

Think of moments like…

The taste of a ripe raspberry

A walk in the forest

A deep relaxed breath in the midst of chaos

Feeling the soft fur of your favorite pet or animal friend

Cuddling with your child

Sensing the vibration of your voice in your chest while you are humming…

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Creating your full-body-yes-life might also come with big and brave decisions…

For some of us, me included, creating, embodying, and living a full-body-yes-life leads inevitable to taking some big, scary, brave decisions.

Think of situations like…

Leaving a workplace that drains you

Ending a relationship that is harmful

Starting your heart business

Changing your work routines drastically

Carving out time for your hobby

Beginning a new hobby

Moving to a new apartment, house, city, country, environment…

When you realize that the creation of your full-body-yes-life comes with such brave and huge steps I encourage you to take it slow, break your bigger plans down to tangible, small baby-steps, get support, find like-hearted people …

I also want to emphasize that this is all a journey, a creative unfolding, a natural process… consider your full-body-yes-life as a never-ending passion project that evolves and changes and develops with you!

You will change. Your untamed, true Self—the part of you who knows and feels what her full-body-yesses are—will evolve. Your body transforms. Your soul evolves. Your spirit grows. Your mind expands.

Your needs and desires will vary and alter depending on your phase of life, your cyclical nature, your environment…

Living is never linear (even though our society claims otherwise).

Being is never stagnant.

But we can be as present and loving as possible and make little changes and/or big steps towards the life we are truly here for… in this phase of our life.

A full-body-yes-life is not a perfect life!

I could write a whole book about the harmfulness of perfectionism and toxic self-optimization and there are many people who have written books about this very important topic.

I just want to emphasize here that what I consider as a full-body-yes-life is nothing that feels rigid, limiting, harsh and like something that you have to achieve, earn, struggle for, work hard for…

Your full-body-yes-life is not a hashtag or a trend. It is nothing that you can get likes for.

It is quite the opposite. Living a full-body-yes-life means that you say yes to your body, your soul, your heart, your spirit— more and more, again and again.

Creating your full-body-yes-life means that you say yes to living life as a human being and working at a pace that feels sustainable and inspiring for you.

It means that you say yes to setting boundaries, opening your heart again, being messy, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, enjoying joyful moments, asking for help, providing help when you feel resourced enough, seeing yourself through loving eyes, hugging the part of you who hates yourself…

… and this all is not perfect but natural, alive, human.

Why the New Earth starts with your full-body-yes-life…

I firmly believe that you and I deserve a life that feels like a sacred yes to our bodies and souls. I believe that we are on Planet Earth at this time to create such a full-body-yes-life...

A life in which we live in harmony with (our) natural cycles again and follow our calling and joy. A life in which we feel fulfilled, alive, and rested, instead of overwhelmed, stressed, and disconnected from our body and being.

But it’s not easy to live such a life!

We live in a society that normalizes what makes us sick: toxic productivity, linear forward momentum, overstimulation, the exploitation of nature...

In addition, we carry within us the fears and traumas of countless generations before us. But it doesn’t have to stay that way!

Just like me, you are here for MORE than following the sick rules of our society or the expectations of others! Let’s walk the path of gentle self-liberation, return to our true nature, and create the New Earth—in our individual lives and together...

The collective is made of many individuals.

Collective changes start with individuals who make changes in their lives.

Yes, there are major structural, political, systemic problems!!!

The thing is that I, Verena am not a political activist (in this phase of my life).

I help individuals to create change from the inside out.

I consider myself as a spiritual rebel, soul activist, and embodied visionary who revolutionizes under the surface but with power.

There are so many moments in which I ask myself if a full-body-yes-life is even possible in the systems that we are living in. But I will not give up but softly self-liberate, gently make changes, lovingly stand up for my needs.

I deeply feel and know that creating my full-body-yes-life is possible and worth trying! Because what I lose is a life that feels like burnout, a prison, and depression.

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Again, my full-body-yes-life looks and feels very different than yours…

We are all unique beings with individual nervous systems, bodies, hearts, souls…

But on the other hand we are very similar and many of us seek more calm, gentleness, peace, grounding, authenticity, joy, lightness, light in our life.

My hope and intention for this blog is to inspire and empower you to create step by step and moment by moment a life that feels more and more like a sacred yes to YOUR body, soul, heart, spirit, mind…

This blog is also a way to hold myself accountable so that I continue to prioritize joy, healing, lightness, and love in my life.

Because in my past I worked and lived against my body and soul.

And even after I started my heart business and listened to my body and soul, I still was trapped in societal rules and my conditioning about what my life should look like.

I worked too much and played too little. I prioritized my business and forgot that I am not only a person with a spiritual calling but also a human being who needs love, connection, rest.

This blog is an inspiration to create the New Earth in our individual lives and in a world that feels too often heavy, sad, hopeless.

This blog is an inspiration for you to curiously find out what your full-body-yes-life might look like and to create it at your pace.

What does it take to create and live your full-body-yes-life?

Patience.

Perseverance.

Curiosity.

Courage.

Support.

Faith.

Expanders who inspire and empower you—with their honesty, bravery, vulnerability.

I hope that I and this blog can be(come) such an expanding resource for you.

I would love to hear from you:

What can you sense in your body when you think of your personal full-body-yes-life?

What in your current life feels like a full-body-yes?

Is there a small tiny way to create a full-body-yes-moment after reading this blog post?

Comment below and share your experiences!

I am in a huge process of re-prioritization and re-orientation. I am in a deep process of bringing more balance to my life. I am in a gentle process of listening to the part of me who just wants to be and live.

For decades, I identified myself with my performance. It was normal for me to prioritize working, learning, and doing over resting, enjoying, playing…

In school, I learned a lot to get the best grades. In University, I worked hard to achieve my Bachelor of Arts as quickly as possible. In my twenties, when I did many internships and had my first jobs, I pushed myself to the limit (and above).

It all got worse when I became self-employed in 2014 and started my first business as an author/blogger/podcaster in the fine drinking, cocktail, and bar world. My “brand” was deeply connected with me, my face, my words, my voice, my style…

My business was me. My work was me. My business was my life.

After I had my first severe burnout in 2018/19, I released my old business and after a phase of letting go and allowing myself and my life to become empty, I started my current business.

My current business is my heart business. It is deeply interwoven with my calling, my mission, the part of me, who wants to have a positive impact, who wants to support other people, who wants to change the world—yes it feels that big…!

And because it is my heart business I did not recognize until last year (2025) how much I identified myself with my business again. How much my life became my business again.

But in hindsight, I can see that my business was priority number one in my life.

And that is understandable…

I had the responsibility to “make it work” and to do the work.

I am deeply convinced of what I am doing and my business is my sacred service. So it was very “normal” for me to prioritize work—always.

But this tendency to prioritize work over life is not just my personal nature and nurturing. It is a societal and systemic conditioning!

I grew up in a meritocracy (Germany) and learned (in the education system and from my father) that you must proof your worth by working extremely hard and sacrificing yourself for being successful, for earning (enough) money, for pleasing others, for fitting in, for being a good person, for being enough…

Because I live in a society in which “doing nothing” equals “being a lazy and bad person” it felt very good to be constantly busy.

Because I enjoy the most parts of my work and because this is my heart business, I totally forgot that my business is not me. It is not the entire Verena. It is not my complete life.

My body wanted to be heard and I am no longer willing to repress my needs…

When I started to practice, learn and share somatic experiencing® in 2023/24 I felt more and more clearly that there was a huge imbalance in my life. An imbalance between being active, creative, productive and being… well… not productive but a sensitive, multi-layered, messy human being.

I sensed more and more that my body was longing for rest, nurturing, and joy.

On a spiritual and intellectual level, my work with astrology helped and helps me to understand my (controversial) needs and inner parts—represented by the different placements and planets in my natal chart—and to bring more awareness and balance into my internal and external world.

I literally saw in my chart that I gave my ambitious, passionate, fiery Aries and Sagittarius parts a lot of space in my life. But I also saw in my birth chart and felt in my body that I gave my Sun-in-Taurus-part, who wants to rest and enjoy life, not what she wanted and needed.

Since 2023, I had already changed my working habits and had shifted my priorities a lot. I had started to reduce my working hours and had taken more time for myself.

My move from the inner city of Munich to a small town in Austria made it very easy for me to be more in nature, go for tours with my racing bike, and revive my passion for horses and horseback riding.

As I said, I had already changed a lot… but not enough.

Last year (2025) some things happened that pushed me more or less gently into an even more radical re-orientation and re-prioritization… and back to balance.

If you read my soul & soma newsletter, you know that I got a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis last spring and that I experienced a traumatic horseback riding accident including a broken leg in October, 2025.

Additionally and/or in sync with my health crisis some other “things” came up, like increasingly depressive moods, a deep spiritual crisis (why I am here and who needs what I feel called to share), and on top of that I was as fatigued and tired as never before in my life.

I could no longer NOT see the fact that my life, my body, and my soul were not in balance. Even though I had already made big steps towards more rest, more joy, more being… I identified myself still too much with my DOING and my business.

Again, I think it is very normal to prioritize work over life and doing over being because we live in a sick society. But because something is normal doesn’t mean that it is natural and it does NOT mean that it is good for me, for my body, for my soul…

Yes, I understand myself and I don’t judge myself. I see and hear and hold the part of me lovingly who feels just save and loved when I prioritize work over life. But I am no longer following her. I am no longer willing to live from a place of fear.

I feel strong and save enough (thanks to my daily somatic practices) to shift gears, rebel against societal rules and re-prioritize my life in a way that leads to balance, health, and peace.

Setting new priorities in 2026 and creating more and more my full-body-yes-life…

Since some months, I prioritize my health, my wellbeing, my joy, and my relationships. My business is still a very important part and I deeply love it but it is not the only and the most important part of me and/or my life…

I give the inner parts of me who want to be creative, be playful, enjoy life, meet friends, spend time with Veyron, sleep longer, hug my mum, play with my nieces, cuddle on my couch with ceremonial cacao, bake bread, write freely… more space and time.

It feels so good to say to my family that I have time to play with my nieces instead of telling them that I am too busy for seeing them.

It feels so good to meet a friend in a café—on a work day!

Yes, my old feelings of “guilt” are still there. Yes, I still have a lot of anxiety around money. But I feel strong and save enough to hold my fears.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my business.

My business is an important part of my full-body-yes-life. But my business is not ME and my full-body-yes-life has so many other parts…

I think that I have known this intellectually for many years. But there is a difference between knowing something and (feeling safe enough) to truly embody it in your everyday life.

Yes… re-prioritizing our life is a process. Like everything. No need to push or rush.

From my experience, it is all about becoming aware of your patterns, liberating yourself from internal and external shackles, cultivating more and more safety inside so that you can make the changes, embody your true Self and create your full-body-yes-life.

It is about building safety inside, coming (back) into the body, feeling what you truly need and what is important for you.

It is about taking baby steps into the direction of joy, aliveness, rest, and all the other things that are against the rules of meritocracy but essential to live a life that is healthy, in balance, and good for our soul and body.

It takes time to hear one’s inner oppressor without following them. It takes practice and support to feel the shame and guilt without identifying with it when you follow your body’s need for rest or your heart’s longing for joy.

Start with becoming aware of the things that you prioritize NOW…

If you have the desire to re-prioritize your life, meet yourself where you are at right now. What are you currently prioritizing in your life? Not only in theory but especially in practice, in your everyday life.

It can be helpful to look at your calendar and gently but honestly become aware of the things that take up the most space and time in your life.

I know that everyone has different privileges, life circumstances, demands, and financial situations. Re-prioritizing your life will look very differently for a mum, a small business-owner, a person who is the breadwinner for a family…

I just want to inspire and encourage you here to have an honest look at your life and your calendar right now and see what you want and can change. Step by step. Day by day. Week by week.

Maybe you want to finish work 30 minutes earlier each day so that you have more time for yourself or your family? Maybe you want to prioritize your health by going to bed earlier or starting to meal prep instead of eating sugary goods from the bakery?

I find it very helpful to FIRST put the things into my calendar that represent my true priorities (health, wellbeing, joy, balance…): time with my horse-friend Veyron, my morning and evening routines, time for family and friends, me-time…

After having my “healthy, joyful essentials” in my calendar, I schedule my working hours and tasks for my heart business.

Of course, this is not always possible. Sometimes I need to work longer as I have planned or re-schedule a date with a friend because I need more time for my business, myself, doctor’s appointments…

It is not about being, working or living perfectly everyday. It is about feeling into what is truly important for your soul and body, setting aligned priorities, taking one small step at a time, and creating your full-body-yes-life day by day and moment by moment… and with a lot of self-compassion, patience, courage, and trust.

I am no longer willing to pay the price for prioritizing my work over my physical and mental health, my wellbeing, and my relationships… and I am pretty sure that you are ready to re-prioritize your life, too.

I would love to hear from you:

When you look at your life (and your calendar), what do you currently prioritize? How does that feel?

What do you want to prioritize more? What would be your first tiny step towards re-prioritizing your life?

Comment below and share your experiences!

He is my teacher and my student.

My therapist and client.

My coach and coachee.

We challenge each other.
We learn from each other.

Grow together.

He is my mirror.

My friend.

My companion.

He is an anchor in my life.

I am always happy seeing him.

Spending time with him.

I am so grateful for his friendship.

For seeing me, following me, respecting me.

I am very sure he can feel… I am seeing him, respecting him, and want his best.

Do you ask yourself whom I am writing about?

He is not a human but a horse. A very special one. Veyron.

Our story and shared path started in December 2023.

His owner, Kata, who is also my trainer, guide, friend, and since January podcast-collaborator once said:

“You and Veyron searched for each other and found each other.”

The truth is, she is right.

I did not know that before I met Veyron… but on a subconscious level I was always looking for a horse with whom I feel this special, deep, fine connection.

The truth is also that Kata brought us together.

I guess she felt that we would be a good team.

I am grateful for her sensitivity, intuition, and experience-based knowledge.

I can vividly remember the first “lessons” I had with Veyron and Kata as our teacher.

No horseback riding lessons!

We actually worked together on the ground for one and a half years.

One of the first things Kata taught me about Veyron was that he is very unique.

Kata told me that Veyron’s way and pace of learning, of being, sensing, and seeing the world would be not comparable with other horses. That he is highly sensitive, highly intelligent and (because of that?) had some problems to find his physical and emotional balance.

I felt so seen while she was saying that about Veyron.

I felt an immediate connection to him because I am all of this too. I understand him. Deeply.

Of course we are different beings. (No projections here!)

And also… we definitely have a lot of common “specialities”.

He has some “very special” (and sometimes funny) fears.

His nervous system is very quickly on alert.

His flight instinct is for a horse extremely strong.

He has some trouble with his body awareness and blockages in his back.

He needs to work on finding his balance—in the body, the mind, the nervous system.

He wants to do it all right but sometimes stands in his own way.

Hi, that’s me too!

Kata helped me and still helps me to become his coach and guide.

We did a lot of ground work to help him find balance, overcome (some of) his fears, develop self-confidence and strength…

I can (and will) write so much more about Veyron and me, what we have learned from each other so far and already experienced together–including a very traumatic accident last fall.

I am so proud of him! Of me! Of us!

I am so thankful for our shared path and the guidance of Kata.

I am so happy that at the beginning of 2025, I could finally start to ride him after doing so much work on the ground.

Since the accident happened last October we are back on the ground due to my broken leg but hey, I will be back in his saddle again as soon as my leg is healed!

I am so excited watching him becoming more self-confident instead of being shy. Becoming more brave and curious instead of running away.

He is such a big part of my full-body-yes-life!

He shows me that there are worlds(!) to explore away from my desk!

Sometimes I don’t have the capacity connecting with humans, talking, listening, answering.

But I always love to connect with Veyron. Just being together. Soul by soul. Body by body. One slow breath after another.

My full-body-yes-life and my full-body-yes-weeks include two to three times with him. Sometimes it’s one hour, sometimes it’s three.

This time is important for me.

I consciously prioritize it.

It’s in my calendar like a client’s session or a doctor’s appointment.

I need the time with Veyron to stay healthy. To free my mind. To take some deep breaths. To be outside. To touch and sense and smell and feel another being. To liberate myself from work-related productivity. To find grounding and connection.

I don’t want to romanticize this all! Working, being, growing, going with Veyron is not always (just) lovely, it takes energy (on all levels).

It’s not just about hanging out together and watching the sunset—even though this is a part of our shared experience on some days.

But spending time with Veyron includes working together, learning and exploring new skills, having a training plan, taking lessons from Kata, building muscles…

We have misunderstandings, disagreements and sometimes want different things. Very human and very horsey.

But the time with Veyron always teaches me so much—about friendship, relationship, my and his nervous system, my and his fears, my and his courage, timing and slowness, the brain, the soul, the body, life…

I am so excited to continue my journey with Veyron and share more about him and us with you!

Now I want to know from you:

Do you love horses? Do you have pets? What beings are part of your full-body-yes-life and week? Comment below and share your experiences!